Multiple Personalities ~ Kriket’s Perspective

I had the chance, to see M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie, Split. Now, I do have to say, I truly appreciate the way he tells a story. I have not been entertained by every story he has told, but I have been, for most of them. The premise of the movie, is a man who has Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). James McAvoy, the lead actor, did a very good job, playing multiple personalities (Dennis / Patricia / Hedwig / The Beast / Kevin Wendell Crumb / Barry / Orwell / Jade – Hedwig to me). I knew M. Night would bring a certain flavour to the telling; he has a spiritual bend, I find most critics, do not get.

Movie sets, and designs, intrigue me. I look for symbolism. I search for clues of spiritual messages, or pieces used to create, an ambience, or understanding. The use of a beautiful curved staircase caught my eye.… long camera views allowing the *seer* to feel captured by the spiral. Spirals have been explored as doorways between worlds, and levels of ourselves, for millennia. The Spiral, from a historical perspective, has existed in art for thousands of years. The Spiral, a path inward & outward, in the same form. A scene was shot from the bottom of the stair – the ceiling was a mandala. I love the attention to detail M. Night has. I, at times, love the exquisiteness, of another person’s view.

At the top of the staircase, was the office of the, very Crone, Psychiatrist. The Crone, clearly advising and healing, the fractured psyche. She was attentive, wiley, intuitive… a clear and strong character. To reach back into “the middle world”, Hedwig had to walk into the lower parts of himself. Hedwig was a part of the 23, who shared the Light. (not an uncommon phrase referring to the conscious part’s location). They were awaiting a 24^th personality. So, unfamiliar to the others, even the Crone, could not envision it.

I was reminded of the book I read, The Minds of Billy Milligan , who had 24 personalities. In the early 80’s, I was a teenager intrigued by some of the early writings on, what was then referred to as MPD, Multiple Personality Disorder. I was very fascinated with Trudy Chase& . They made a TV movie event, about Trudy, starring Shelly Long, who surprised me with her acting chops. One scene replays in my mind occasionally… Trudy bursts into her Therapists office, and flashes a T-shirt saying “2, 4, 6, 8 we don’t want to integrate”. Integration, and Separation, became life long interests, for me. I never had to be convinced the soul could shatter, the question, for me, was always…. In what manner will it manifest. And later, the added question became… and how do we Heal Soul.

Orphan Black deals with a different perspective of multiple personalities, by exploring clones. The *connection* between the sestras is beautiful. Written, to draw the observer, into the truth.They are genetically identical, with very different manifestations of Self, connected, therefore They share, Connection. Matter, Body Space, and Time; Connected. Even separated, they are influenced by their shared isolation, from the rest of the world. Much like Hegwig could not share, with the outer real 3D world, further isolation. Separation and Integration. Different in the telling, but an interesting thread.

In Norse Mythology, Odin, has a friendship/relationship…. With Huggin and Muninn, two Ravens who sit upon the right and left shoulders of Odin. They are commonly referred to as Thought and Memory… I am not convinced, they are both. In my journeys with Raven, I have been visited by Thought. Odin doesn’t need memory. Odin is… well ODIN… But Thoughts gathered from around the world… different eyes, told in different ears, different perceptions ~ filling Odin. Odin has different voices whispering in his ears, sharing different information.The multiplicity of experiences. This too, has been explored in our Myths.

Durga, Mother of the Universe (The Prime Psyche, the First Person, Primordial Cosmic Energy) had eight arms, often referred to as her 8 eternal companions. The Myth emphasizes the many sides, and many aspects of Durga. They, in turn, are interpreted as the 8 quadrants in Hinduism. This suggests, that She protects the Devotees from all directions.

To comprehend Primordial Cosmic Energy as One, sounds simple, but, really, it isn’t. Our ancestors, in a sly about manner, constructed a Cosmogony, an understanding. Which grew, and matured, into a Cosmology, Which then, became our Myths, which became Stories to speak to the individual tribe member…. The Ancestors remind us, even our own selves, have Divine permission to crack into many different pieces… and sometimes, it is a way of Being, enabling the One, to just to get the day done. The mind fractures, the soul fractures. We are reminded of our absolute humanity, in our Myths and in our Lives.

M. Night retold this story, in a tense way… I found myself rooting for the naive selves ~ Hedwig, and the Young Strong Female, Casey… both fighting for their Survival… far below the High Stair case blocks away (the outer reality), deep within the Soul of Self (inner reality). The soul struggles in many ways.

The coming of the Beast, the 24^th personality arising ~ the unknown, incomprehensible, aspect of Self is, going to emerge. The tension of the Story, is the impending doom of the Unknown. The Beast rises and with it a shapeshifter emerges. I was captivated by the Shapeshifter. I suspect, a person not versed in mythology, shamanism or… May not have identified the rising Beast, as such. The clincher, was the whole story, took place in the deepest parts at the very end of restricted and unused hallways of the Philadelphia Zoo. The Story teller is asking us to, at the very least, give consideration to the mere Idea, The Psyche, in it’s self of many eyes (23 pairs), could merge with the Spirit of Animals, and have the ability to change form in 3D reality.

In stories of Old, Our Ancestors, and even some practised Shamans today, shift and transform, into a whole other expression of the Primal Cosmic Self… 😉

 

Traveling in the Real World

I took a journey to South East Asia from September to October. I had promised myself a big trip, as a present for turning 50. I had no expectations, and only two things planned. I had no idea, traveling for 28 hours would be so incredibly long… and ultimately tiring. I took a few days to turn my sleep schedule around, as I was 12 hours ahead of my time zone. But I did!!

When I travel, unless it is specifically to learn about shamanism, I don’t travel “as a shaman”. Which, I realize makes little sense, since what I am is inside me, and not a tool I can pick up and put down. So, let me explain. I do not actively seek out individuals to “heal” or “teach”. I do not seek out traditional healers to meet. I am just a regular tourist, with what I consider to be, an added perspective.

Traveling through Vietnam and Cambodia were eye openers, on different levels. The two countries, even though they share a border, are very unique to themselves. Once leaving the large city of Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam, I was able to see what Vietnam looked like, without 19 million people jostling me about. I traveled by train, which was slow, but offered many beautiful visions of the country side and the ocean views. There were not always English speaking people, and at times, places with zero English. And I confess, beyond the extremely important words, such as hello, bathroom, food, hostel, I speak no Vietnamese. I also confess, this was my very first travel experience for a month, completely alone, with a very small backpack. I carried everything I would need in a 35ltr backpack. I took a small one to remind me to travel with little or no impact. I could not buy many things, because I simply did not have the room in my back pack to accommodate much. I did send a few things home, via mail, from Vietnam, but not from Cambodia… their mail system simply did not exist.

My absolute respect goes out to people who traveled before the advent of Data and Cell Phones. Fortunately, every hostel, eatery or tourist site, had a place on a Map. And my taxi (often the back of a scooter) drivers can use a Map… 🙂 Yeah me. I had to use Google translate a few times… fortunately it was available. But, the people who traveled to these countries before, were true mavericks. Hats off… truly.

It was a challenge, at times, to travel alone. Tour guides and tour companies are not always interested in dealing with solo travelers. I did stay in different Hostels, and was very grateful to meet so many wonderful humans, all with interesting stories, and good advice to share. I was always the oldest in the hostel, and was always treated very respectfully. I did stay in small hotels, here and there, completely eliminating the opportunity to meet others. I found as the days went by, I became more and more silent. I even stopped talking to myself. Now, don’t be all surprised, we all talk to ourselves, and if you don’t… well, I am not quite sure what to say to that, except… yeah(??). I stopped journaling very early on. I found even writing to be “too loud” in my head. What I really needed was silence and time to contemplate my navel. What a luxury.

As I traveled from Vietnam to Cambodia, I found my pace also slowing down somewhat. Cambodia is a very slow, gentle (to an outsider) country. With a very horrible past, recent and ancient. My shamanic senses really came alive in Cambodia. Which I was not quite expecting. I was able to energetically sense the people more. I was able to tap into my intuition more accurately there. I felt even more alone there, but at such peace with my alone-ness I felt liberated.

Why am I writing this blog post? Good question. First to mark that I did it, at 50 I traveled alone,to countries where English was not a given, and my personal safety was not guaranteed. I felt the layers of my “western” life, slowly falling away from me. I felt the burdens I had, dripping off my body. I came back, still silent, very tired, but… freer. Traveling in 3rd World countries is, to me, so incredibly important. I am always really impressed with the ingenuity, of the people. They created, invented, machines from bit and pieces of everything. There is far less of the “toss it away” mentality, than in Canada. There were far more genuine smiles, than greet me here. There was far more generosity, than I encounter here. There were far less barriers to person, than I feel here. Despite not being able to speak the language, I understood (with my own limitations obviously) the people I met. I did not feel at home, or like I had found a home, but I went somewhere I felt truly comfortable being.

I hope to translate this peace into my practice. I felt ready to pick up my drum and my  smudge and lite candles, to say my many prayers of gratitude for such a heart opening experience. Some days were incredibly hard, some experiences left me so angry I just wanted to fly home early. But, that is all part of travel. I am supposed to be uncomfortable and unsure. I am supposed to be able to navigate through the bad waters, to reach the good waters. I wanted to test myself. I came home with gratitude for all I have. For the simple liberties I have taken so for granted.

I came home, joyfully, to the people (that means you) in my home country. I wanted to share my thoughts, albeit, skimming the surface. I wanted to feel different when I came home, and I do.

Thank you for reading… I know there is more to come. I need to “unpack” my trip. Lay all the things I have brought home, onto the floor and examine them… piece by piece. What do I want, and what can I still release. Being in such poverty opens my eyes to the richness surrounding me…. every time.

Sweet Sweet Water

“At the end of February 2016, El Nino continues to exert its influence across the earth and is expected to continue at least through spring of 2016. February was the warmest February on record (137 year history) for the earth, according to NOAA and NASA. In Europe, drought conditions further intensified around the Mediterranean Sea this month. In Asia, drought remains entrenched across the Indian sub-continent, around Mongolia, and in the West. Tree ring research in the Middle East indicate the present drought, beginning in 1998, is likely the most severe in the last 900 years, according to NASA. In Vietnam, the Mekong River is at its lowest level since 1926. In Africa, short-term drought intensified again this month in the northern portion of the continent, around the Mediterranean, and remains intense in the South. In Zambia and Zimbabwe, Victoria Falls are being affected by the Zambezi River flowing at a 30-year low. If the drought continues, downstream hydroelectric power is expected to be reduced or stopped in the next six months. In Morocco, drought has reduced the wheat harvest by half. In North America, drought remains entrenched in the higher latitudes, while the Southwestern U.S. experienced some drying. In the US Pacific Northwest, an ample snowpack has improved, and is expected to further improve, drought conditions there. In South America, drought remains in the northern part of the continent while the South saw much-needed rain again this month. In Colombia, farmers from the Bolivar Province have abandoned their land after drought ruined their crops. In Oceana, drought continues in Southern Australia and Papua New Guinea. Australian beef sales to the U.S. have increased over the past three years, while drought in the U.S. Southwest reduced livestock there.” source

These are troubling times, globally. Where I live, in Alberta, we are experiencing a shortage of spring rains, again.  I have no illusions surrounding the loss of water and global climate change. I turn my shamanic eyes to drought. Throughout the years I have led, and been a part of, water ceremonies. Most have been successful in bringing rain to our area.

Water is fundamental to creating and sustaining of life. As a result of this, water is most often symbolically regarded as the Great Mother, or the prima materia, the universal womb. As the ultimate source of life, water is associated with birthing, fertility, and the feminine/yin, and is connected to goddesses, and other mythological female creatures. Equally present, however, are myths regarding male deities, for whom, control of the waters is central to their existence. In my journeys I have encountered masculine and feminine spirits, who have presented themselves to me, as the keeper of the water. It is never lost on me, there are so many versions of prima materia, depending on where we live. Many of our associations are available to us in the Collective Unconscious. To say one element is ruled by either a masculine or feminine deity,  is dependent upon which spiritual reality you ascribe to.

 

I have often found water spirits express the dual nature of water. Examples:  Water sprites were tempters of evil, embodying both water’s life-giving and destructive properties, while the Naiads, Nereids, and sirens of Greek mythology were envisioned dualistically, emerging as either shy nymphs or dangerous, luring creatures.

Like water’s mutable scientific properties, its symbolic meaning is variable. Water is the source of all life, and it also has the power to drown and destroy.Water teaches us about fluidity – nonresistance.  Water shows us how to be open to our emotions.  As water flows around rocks, bends, trees etc., it teaches us to be fluid and more in our own emotions.

The Mother Moon shows us her influence on water, she controls the ebb and flow of water, if we take this one step further, she controls, or influences, the ebb and flow of our own life river; meaning our blood. In journeys to Water, I encourage myself, and others, to open to water,and trust the Spirit of Water.  Water has taught me to move within myself while practicing faith and trust, not only in myself, but the Spirit of Water also.  I trust that we, like water, are a part of the whole, and we are a small part of something much bigger than ourselves. Its paradoxical nature lends to the notion of water, specifically immersion in water, as being a return to the primordial state. This is experienced through water’s many manifestations:

• Rain (fertility)
• Springs (the supernatural)
• Vast, undifferentiated seas (the primordial state, birth, and rebirth)
• Dark depths of the ocean (death, shedding of the old)
• Raging billows and waves (chaos, power, formlessness, destruction)
• Waterfalls (transition, the unification of feminine and masculine).
• Dualist View of Water Symbolism

Symbolic Water Meanings 

• Life
• Motion
• Renewal
• Blessing
• Intuition
• Reflection
• Subconscious
• Fertilization
• Purification
• Transformation

Symbolically, water represents a return to the primordial state, a death of the old and rebirth of the new. J.E. Cirlot’s A Dictionary of Symbols p. 165 describes the following “Water is, of all the elements, the most clearly transitional… By analogy, water stands as a “meditation” between life and death, with a two way positive and negative flow of creation and destruction… Transparent death…stands in particular for the communicating link between the surface and the abyss. It can therefore be said that water enjoins the two images”.

The symbolic mixture of water and wine amplifies the element’s dual nature, indicating the mingling of water (passive/feminine) and fire (active/masculine), and of human and divine.

On matters of life and death, traversing a waterway can symbolize crossing over from life to death. In the Greek underworld, the ferryman known as Charon carried souls over the river Styx to the realm of the dead. In ancient Egypt, it was customary to bring the deceased Pharaoh across the Nile River to the west, a ritual of crossing over to the after world.

 

In analytic psychology, water is the primary symbol of the feminine. This is derived from water’s fluid quality, portraying the dynamic, fluid female side of the personality. For many psychological and spiritual traditions, water also represents the power of the unconscious and the deeper layers of the psyche. In dreams, birth is often depicted using water imagery.

Throughout the ages, water has grown to symbolize many things to many cultures. At the crux of it all, it is that from which all life springs, and in the same moment is the grave of all things.

Further Thoughts on Empowerment

Empowerment.

It is a power full word. What exactly does it mean? Well, I think each person has their own idea of what it could, or may mean, to them, personally. The most common answer I receive, to the question, “how do you feel empowered” is, “I feel energized and powerful”.

How can I argue with that? Truthfully, I can’t. What I decided to do, was tailor make a workshop to embody empowerment. It was an interesting journey. First, I have to be honest, I can procrastinate. I know, there is not one person reading this who can identify with procrastination. Lucky you. I, however, feel, at times, I am married to it. Despite asking for a divorce more than once… But I digress… I was very proud of myself for having completed writing my handout, as well as completed the experiential part of the workshop. (I often refer to the experiential as “what to do” in my folders). I stayed late at work on the Friday before the workshop. I had plans to go to the Drumming Circle later that evening. I just wanted to tweak my handout – I thought to myself…

But that is not quite what happened.  I turned my attention to breath work. I quieted my mind, and merged my spiritual self with the day of the actual workshop – what I tapped into was quite wonderful. {In another post, I hope to, eventually, share my views on parallel realities, and “all time happens simultaneously” or “time is vertical not horizontal”.}  This time I want to share my experience of merging with the future presence of the workshop. I saw an alternative experience for presenting my material. I felt different shamanic journeys. I journeyed deeply into the messages, and returned with a drive to CHANGE EVERYTHING!

So, my happy pat on the back, I got everything done right – turned into a righteous handshake with the future.

Secrets…. secrets can be the most dangerous foe to empowerment. Secretly, the psyche holds onto secrets of smallness, shame, anger, vulnerability, the list is as personal as the psyche of the individual. What I experienced was the journey of unity. I know I sound a touch vague, bear with me.

Think about it… a very tiny pebble, while not annoying enough to take out off your shoe, changes the way you walk. Your toes shuffle the small pebble to the side, you shake your heel to get it out from under your foot. But… it is so small, you can handle it, until you stop.

The small pebble is the soul’s most hidden, secret self. Sometimes it is so deeply hidden Spirit has to find it for us and bring it to us.

The Journey is moving ever more closely to Unity. Harmony and Balance, for me, is where I stand most in my Power.  Secrets cannot hide in the light of our internal flame, our Empowered Self. In shamanic teachings we embrace the paradox of the most secret, dark aspect of ourself, is actually our Most Empowered Self. By bringing the Inside Out – the inner self gets to embrace Power and be Big and ALIVE. Truly, being present in ourself – what does it feel like to live ON THE OUTSIDE!!?

The OUTSIDE, our Healed, Empowered Aspect of Self – with its compassionate and older healed eye, embraces the hidden self to remember what it feels like to be small and all that that entails – to remind ourselves, subconsciously, consciously, where you have come from – bringing the hidden to the light, to heal the shame of {insert yours here}

We are an ever moving wheel. Each time we mine the darkness of ourselves, we do find treasure. The Empowerment comes when the wheel has turned our darkest aspect to face the Outside, the ever evolving potential. Turn my face from the hidden self? Nah… I hate pebbles in my shoes.

Elementals ~ from a Foxes Perspective

Tags

archetype, elemental, elements, shaman

So what are the Elementals?

When I first started this path I never heard people talk about Elementals.  My first experience with the word and the concept came from sources of reading on witchcraft.  I then mistakenly had the assumption that it was a word made specifically for the witch in mind. I was however mistaken.

As the years past, I continued to study shamanism, both traditional and ancient, I came across the word Elemental more often.  Gradually, I changed my perception of it being a witch word, to a reference.  I often found that the words Element and Elemental, were interchanged, and thought that perhaps they meant the same thing.  I was not completely wrong in my assumption, but I was not completely right either.  Elements and Elementals are commonly interchanged words but usually that is because the author or the speaker, do not understand the difference, subtle and gross.

The further I study the shamanic ways the more amazed I am at what shamans around the world have learnt.  What I also have discovered, is, I had been working with the energy of Elementals for a long time, I just did not know how to name it.

Elementals

Elementals are often considered to be the personification of the four elements. The four elements being:

Fire

Water

Earth

Air

The associated Elementals are

Fire – Salamander

Water – Undine

Earth – Gnome

Air – Sylphs

When I first began to study and learn more about Elementals I had a difficult time with the names of the Elementals Sylph and Undine, specifically because I had no connection at all to the words, I did not even understand how they got attached to the Elementals and then I found this:

Earth=gnomes (Greek gnoma meaning knowledge)

Air=slyphs (Greek silphe, a butterfly)

Fire=salamanders (Greek, salambe, a fireplace)

Water=undines (Latin unda, or wave)

I could now understand where the words Sylph and Undine came from, and I eventually learned to pronounce them as well.

The Elemental energies are powerful, and each element has a powerful Essence whose function is to aid us in focusing the power of the Element. Elementals, to me, are the presence of the Elements. They are the manifestation of the elements, and hence have a presence. In some cultures they are considered to be aspects of the Gods and Goddesses – Archetypes if you will. They have also been called the Nature Spirits, of which almost every culture can relay their own story, or have their own set of nature spirits. The Greeks had the nymphs, dryads, forest spirits; the Irish had their leprechauns… think of the gnomes, guardians of the Earth… The Persians, the Mongolians, African traditions… all cultures thought it worthwhile to name their Elementals…

In my tradition – shamanic – earth based spirituality – they are very rich in meaning and energetic texture. When I call the elementals I do not specifically call the Undine if I am thinking of water…rather I feel for the Spirit, the Aspect of Water to come and join me and create with me the sacred space that I need to do my work.

The Elementals themselves are groups of four- they are the four elements – Earth, Fire, Water, Air – they are the four directions – East, West, South, North – they are the four colors – Yellow, Red, Blue, Black (or insert the colors of your teachings). They are the four seasons – Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter – They are the four ages of humans – Birth – Childhood, Child to Young Adult, Young Adult to Senior Adult, Senior Adult to Death. They are the four aspects of the human condition – East is Spirit, South is Emotions, West is physical and North is Mind (strength, will, intellect and emotions). So, for something as simple as the four elements, you can see that in one short paragraph, we have given the elementals different layers. And those are only the ones that we can see.

 

Even though, for many of us, the elementals are invisible, they are responsible for the creation of all things. We would not be here except for the co-operation of the Elementals. However I could never describe Elementals better than Helena Petovna Blavansky, founder of the Theosophical Society who said “…[they] direct etheric matter for the production of physical effects as readily as humans can compress air for the same purpose with a pneumatic apparatus. They condense etheric matter so as to make themselves tangible bodies, which they can cause to assume such likeness as they choose, taking as their models the portraits they find stamped in the memory of the persons present”.

Christian mythology teaches:  we, as man, had dominion over the land, plants and animals. To have dominion over literally means that we had “control” or “supreme authority over”. What we “control” cannot be considered our equal, rather our servant. What is our servant does not require our respect. What does not require our respect does not require our attention. What we do not give attention to generally fades into obscurity. And that is where it is today.

However all is not lost and all is not grim. Not all of the people forgot the Elementals. The care of the Spirits of Nature fell to the shamans, the medicine people, the witch doctors, the gypsies; people who could not, and would not, disconnect from Nature. If Blavatsky is right, is it because we did not forget that the shape of the Spirits of Nature is still similar to the tales and descriptions of our Ancestors?

A Swiss alchemist from the 1490’s, whose shortened name is Paracelsus, wrote about and studied the Spirits of Nature. He wrote “Whosoever would understand the book of nature, must walk its pages with his feet”. Each one of us, regardless of where we live, can connect with, understand and communicate with the Spirits of Nature. What we need to remember is how to listen. Nature never went away; we did. As man became more focused on industrial change and societal expansion; forgotten was the language of the world around us. Collectively, we forgot to listen to the sounds of the leaves and the wind rustling through them, we forgot their language. The Spirits of Nature do not necessarily speak in English and tell us “left from right”, rather, theirs is a language of subtlety and nuances. Perhaps an English translation of the movement of air is not necessarily the most viable way of interpreting and sharing the language that surrounds us. Perhaps it would behoove us to stop, be quiet and PAY ATTENTION. Be an active listener to the world that surrounds us.

 

Dancing with our Shadow

Tags

dance, healing, integration, shadow

We will be Deepening Our Relationship with Our Hidden Self

When: May 23 & 24

Where: Healing Connections 10548 – 115 street

Saturday 10 am to 4 pm

Trance Dance 6:30 pm – 9 pm

Sunday 11 am to 4 pm

Shadow is a misunderstood term. Most of us are not even sure what is means. In shamanic work we recognize the shadow as a valuable friend, with many tools to aid us in our day to day life. Shadow, unknown, has the potential to control aspects of our behavior. In our two day workshop we will:

Open a dialogue with our shadow using Shamanic trance

Work with the root of some of our most challenging behaviors

Integrate the parts of ourselves we would rather never acknowledge

Become healthier, more balanced, in our deep relationship to self

Experience an Ancient Practice of Healing we call Trance Dance
We can know, who we are, deeply and profoundly. The longer we stay in the Shadow of our True Self, the longer we will be unable to fully heal, fully live and fully express our true self. We cannot bring ourselves to light, without moving through the darkness.

The shamanic techniques we will use are:

Drum trance
Spoken Trance
Deep Breath work
Soul gathering
Soul Talking
Spiritual integration
Emotional Release
Physical Healing

 

 

The Elements – Sweet Sweet Water

On my Medicine Wheel the element water, is associated with West.

There are myriad of natural forms of water found in unusual and beautiful places. Water is also found in our bodies: in the cliché “blood, sweat, and tears,” in mother’s milk, our lymphatic system, and, perhaps most importantly, in amniotic fluid. Just as life first evolved in the sea, the fetus swims in saltwater as it “evolves” and develops. Since bodies of water have tides, the moon is also associated with water, and many lunar qualities are also Water qualities.

Our earth’s bodies of water hold many secrets and treasures. There aquatic plants ranging in color, density and diversity, growing at different levels in the water. Water can be salty, fresh, and in today’s world toxic and deadly. Water is an element that can be in the air, in the form of rain, mist, and clouds; it can be hidden in the deepest places far below the earth’s crust, as well as creating bodies of water, such as oceans, seas, lakes and tributaries from tiny brooks, to streams to seas and oceans.

Water can also house some of the most powerful shamanic allies. Shamans have long had relationships with creatures who dwell both in the water and on the earth. Creatures such as snake, frog, otters, beavers, to name a very few. Shamans also value the quality of creatures who can dive deep into the waters and return unharmed. West Coast native traditions value the puffin for its amazing aquatic abilities. Snakes have been seen as shapeshifters, due, in part, because of their ability to slip between the elements. Turtles, in some traditions, have been credited with carrying the world upon their backs.

In the healing journeys I do for my patients (again; meaning “one who suffers”), when I enter the Spirit world through water, I am fairly certain I will be healing some of the deepest wounds my patient carries. The last line of my prayer to West is “Oceans be my Emotions”. Meaning, the depth of emotions, can be so deep that no explorer has ever traveled there. Emotion flows, following its own path, which may meander. Emotion runs deep, with mysteries not visible on the surface. Emotions can be like sunken treasure, hiding secrets at the bottom of the waters of memory or the subconscious.

West and Water on the Medicine Wheel is also associated with the Mysteries. I send my prayers to the mysterious beings when I address West. I also send my prayers to the deepest caves and caverns, including Ceynotes. In the watery depths are the mysterious creatures such as Sirens, mermaids, seal woman, Skeleton Woman, and the Inuit water Goddess, Sedna. This list is not even remotely conclusive, but, dear reader, you can see where I am going.

Emotions, like the Mysteries of the West, can also be mysterious. Emotions, associated with the moon, are secrets-those things that are just barely visible, lit by moonlight and not exposed to the sun.rooted in secrets, mysteries, and hidden knowledge. Water is female, and looks within.

The moon and Water are the menstrual cycle, and Water is childbirth as well, making Water perhaps the most feminine of elements. Since moon phases are cyclic, ending where they begin and beginning where they end, it makes sense that Water is also associated with death, and it’s not surprising that many people’s folklore depicts death as a passage over water, I am sure many readers are familiar with Charon, the ferry men. Some of our burial rites included putting penny’s on the dead one’s eyes, so they could pay the ferry man to cross to the Land of the Dead. To make the cycle complete, Hindus refer to rebirth as an ocean.

All of these things-the moon, feeling, depth, birth-death-rebirth, and mystery-combine to associate Water with dreams and the subconscious, and from there to altered states in general-trance, vision, and transformation coming from these things. (Note that the slow, dreamy transformation of Water is different from the sudden, shapeshifting Fire transformation.) Transformation by Water is visionary and may take the quality of a journey.

My astrological moon sign in Pisces. There are times, such as PMS’ing, when I become weepy, vulnerable and overflowing with feeling. Water manifests, for me, in personality flairs such as: dramatic, sensual, and otherworldly.  For the most part, I am joyful and full of love; my cup is rarely half empty. I can be very generous, my waters flows forth abundantly; I often feel I am one of the most blessed women to walk the earth. Water can be very destructive – floods and hurricanes come to mind, and water is love.

For magical symbolism, Water has ocean and lunar colors-deep blue, sea green, and silver. In Western occultism, green is the color most typically used. The magical undine is Water’s entity. Water signs are Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces. In my healing practice I use three types of water, Full Moon, New Moon and Joy water. They each have a very specific purpose. I make moon water by leaving it out 1 – 3 nights prior to either a new or full moon. I use glass containers with proper rubber stoppers. I feel they are powerful parts of my healing ceremonies.

White Shell Woman, Changing Woman, is the Spiritual aspect of me, encouraging a deeper look into myself, facing my emotions, and my  past. Emotions are formed out of everything that has happened before the moment of ‘now’.

The deepest of my emotions to find, and then embrace, was Fear. I had blinded myself for many years to the very existence of fear within. Not physical fear of literal events, but emotional fear. This means shyness, inhibition, fear of not being acceptable, fear of ridicule, rejection,  being put-down, laughed at, made to feel small and so on. This  fear that was stultifying, dispiriting, emotionally crippling and extraordinarily destructive to my young growing self.

Water takes us far into ourselves, helps us to swim through, and into, the darkest caverns of our selves. Water is our life blood, as well as the Earth’s life blood. Follow the path of water. It will, eventually, lead you to the deepest parts of yourself. Be not afraid of the cold and dark water you may encounter, that just may be shadow, trying to stay shadow, and not letting you near. The longer you work with water, the more at ease you will become working, in a healthy manner, with your emotions.

Dreams: Shadows bring Shadows

Tags

dreams, psychology, soul

I really like night time dreams. Over the years, I have recorded many dreams in an attempt to understand the language of my personal psyche. Dream images are not always clear and concise. I interpret, for most dreams, each aspect of the dream is myself, an aspect of my psyche. The benefit of dreams, is that the parlance, between the conscious aspects of psyche, and the unconscious aspects, can be deeper, than in a simple waking conscious. Psyche will choose images and content I am familiar with, in order to get my attention. Dreams are important tools, allowing me another glimpse into my self, aiding in a deeper understanding.

On Dec 13 (yesterday) I wrote a bit about Shadow. I like talking about Shadow, my thoughts on it and the work I have done with it. Last night I had very interesting dreams. I had one, in particular, which dealt with shadows in the guise of shadowy figures, getting lost, seeing the “right road” just over “there”, without a way to get there. In one part of my dream, while searching for the right road, I chose to walk through alleys, and across a dark field. In the shadowy darkness were people, people who were “not good”. At one point in my dream, a younger woman comes from out the shadows and tells me “you shouldn’t talk to strangers” . During the dream I recall thinking I was not afraid of the people in the shadows. I had already spoken to some of them. and had not had any issues.

At the start of my dream I was travelling to a house, outside of my community, with an address that was unclear. Kind of like Millwoods, a suburb in Edmonton!! LOl I was able to get to the house, without a problem. When I was leaving, I started walking, instead of driving. This indicates to me that I wanted to explore my landscape slowly and on my own. I got turned around very quickly. I went down dark streets, through dark alleys and into dark fields, attempting to find the road I need to travel on, to get back home.

Writing about Shadow, spurred my psyche to send me dreams, to test the work I have done with shadow. Getting lost,can mean, I need to pay attention to what is around me. The dark alleys and field were ways for me to work into the scary places, and feel safe doing so. A warning sign, in the guise, of a human came through. Acting like that little voice “are you sure you are going to be okay”; as well as shadow saying “don’t talk to me I am not safe”. If I had not worked as hard as I had through the years, understanding, and making friends with shadow, I may have been afraid.

In a separate dream, later last night, I returned to my starting place, a house. Houses, in my dreams, can indicate my soul, or my core self. My boyfriend was there. I am a lesbian, I know, therefore, men in my dreams, or males in general, are my Animus (masculine) side working with me. We united in the dream and left the house. I realized upon exiting I had turned the wrong way on the sidewalk, leading to my initial confusion. Again we left my car behind. I do remember keeping track of where we walked, in order for me to return for my car. I think, that, is years of soul retrieval work, and training coming into play. Never leave a vital piece of myself behind!

Upon reflection of my dream, I had to ask myself if I felt I had left myself vulnerable by discussing my own healing journey. I also reflect, I am constantly changing and growing. All of me is open to review. I also asked myself, if I wrote deeply enough about shadow. My dreams last night leave me feeling pretty peaceful regarding the deep work I have done. I realize, even with everything I have done, there will always be shadows. There will always be opportunity to explore the alleys and fields, and I can do that without fear. I am comfortable with my shadows, I can make friends with my shadows. I had rich dreams, rife with symbols, and images meaningful to me.

So… now what dreams may come??

SHAMANISM AND THE SHADOW

Tags

psychology, shamanic healing; rattle; extraction; soul retrieval

Over the years Shamanism has helped me to explore my psyche. The definition of Psyche for me, is, all the psychic processes, conscious as well as unconscious. Journey work, ceremonies, rituals and many hours devoted to healing ceremonies, have all shaped me. I have been able, to integrate conflicting aspects of myself. My passion for the shamanic journey has helped me to connect with the Cosmic Psyche. Mixing and Mingling my unique, as indeed we are all unique, psyche with the Cosmic Psyche has created an opportunity to develop the power, and self-knowledge, for me to dive into some of the areas of my Darkest Self, My Shadows.

My ongoing apprenticeship, while on the Shamanic path, has led me to recognize, reckon with, and even battle the forces of the Shadow. Shamanic healing causes me to truly see the nature of some illnesses, while seeking a cure for my patients. (I wish to specify I use the word “patient”, in it’s true etymology as “one who suffers”) I have walked right up the gates of my own Underworld, Lowerworld, Personal Hell, and knocked (three times ;)) before walking in. I have to, and continue to, confront and conquer my own shadows. They appear in guises such as; fear, loneliness, abandonment, self-importance, addiction, unlovable, to name a very few. I have had to unflinchingly confront my own Shadow. This has given me the eyes to see the evil of others, the shadows of others, to successfully deal with forces of Darkness.

Shamanism, has taught me, a language apart from my work colleagues & even some of my friends. I have another post referring to Compassionate Depossession. In Edmonton depossession is not a word commonly spoken. I know, because, I have brought it up in casual (and spiritual) conversations. Not for shock value (alone), but to bring awareness to a very real aspect, of spiritual, and physical, reality. We simply, do not believe, that the dead, can actually inhabit our bodies. We have been given, the dramatic story telling version of possession in popular movies and books. Possession does not look like a body floating up out of a chair, twisting in the air, and puking black goo on the floor. I do not deny, that this manifestation of possession can happen, it has just never happened to me. I have experienced profound shifts, in my self, after being the patient in a Compassionate Depossession. It was a challenge, first to admit possession just might be real, and, then, to release enough self control, to allow another Being the space to speak, and leave my body. It had, and still has, a profound affect on me. My patients often come to me with symptoms ranging from new addictions, to negative thought patterns, to physical behaviour, that just does not feel like their own. Possessions can be very subtle, to quite overt. Shadow can have a voice, it may not always be yours however.

We also don’t speak the language of curses. Curses are a misunderstood concept, and often applied to actions that simply have little, or no, affect on us. A curse manifested for me in the physical by continuously, painfully, and badly, spraining my ankles. Shamanic journeys can take you back in time. I went back in time, to another life, where I had my feet shattered for running away. Using techniques, I had acquired over the years, I was able to rectify the body memory of the event, healing my ankles. I have not sprained my ankles since February 2011. This is the longest I have had healthy legs since I was 13, I am 48.

Through dealing with my own Shadow, and coming to terms with that Shadow self, I have gained peace of mind and balance. Shamanism, is a path, which requires the walker, to deal with personal fears, and inner demons. I could not help anyone, if I recommend a healing journey, I had not taken, and had great success with. Sounds easy, right? Just knock on the door to your personal hell (I suggest three knocks), walk in, face yourself, and voila – chango presto “New Self”!! Sigh. Not quite. Once you have decided to work with your shadows, they seem to increase. Once we have removed one layer, low and behold, there seems to be another. Shamanism does not allow the seeker to wear a mask. I often tell my students, “in shamanism, there is no such thing as a lie”. This is not a path one chooses lights. If, indeed, one even has a choice. I used to quote the Bible in reference to my Shamanic path “Many are called, few are chosen”.

So you got a Soul Retreival, Now What

Many years ago, yet not that long ago, I met the most beautiful Gaia. In one shamanic journey she changed my life forever. She returned to me, a three year old soul piece of me. I had to promise me, myself, three things… and she deftly demonstrated the impact patience and stillness would have on my life.

For me,one of the immediate affects, was becoming OVERWHELMED with a sense of ABSOLUTE LONELINESS. I had no memory of ever feeling or being lonely, ever. I reached out to a friend and asked for help. I became healthier mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

This very experience was so profound, all I wanted to do was share it!!

Spirit gave me all the tools, journeys and techniques to perform the most wondrous of healing techniques, Soul Retrieval. Years later I took, Soul Retrieval training, from Sandra Ingerman.  Everything she taught me in the consensus three D reality, Spirit had already taught me spiritually.

Shamanism is deep and powerful work. But make no mistake it is WORK. Bringing home a soul piece is one thing, working consciously with a more present sense of self, is another matter all together.

SR incorporates the task of integration. My soul piece gave me tasks to do to ensure change. A fundamental aspect of any healing work, is to work with the healing. After your SR, what new images come to mind? Do new emotions arise? Do new urges arise?

Healing is a process of getting to know oneself. Who Am I? The age old question. However.. perhaps… we over complicate things – just a titch. Can “who I am in this moment”, have as much impact as – “who am I, this lifetime”. In my world, yes. It is the moments we live in. If my spirit has changed I want to be aware of how I feel.

Check how your energy is after. Are you elated? Are you sore? How do you feel 24 hours later? I know I tell my patients to spend at least five minutes in silence getting to know the change. I am not sure how many actually take my advice.

I drum for each patient, to show allow their soul pieces to come home and say hello to each other. It is a process of integration. Each part has a story, or a vision… many have very real messages from you, for you. Meditate on the messages. If we listen for the sounds (voice) of our soul talking to us, we can learn the language. If we can learn the language, we can engage more deeply with our own soul/spirit/body language.

I have been fortunate to receive many spiritual gifts and healings from spirit over the years. One of which even saved my very life. Finding a connection to spirit and self; further cultivating the connection is what continues the process of healing.

Healing is a lifelong journey. I don’t really know why, however, why argue.  I continue to follow the path of Healing. Exploring. Cultivating. Researching. Practicing. Living. Being.

You gave yourself permission to heal a deep aspect of yourself. What to do after a SR? Work it baby!!

Now -exalt in your homecoming!!!